The Road Back Begins Here & Now
by shel
Summary: one stormy summer day reveals much in a series of hearttoheart talks
1. prologue

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CHARMED

"The Road Back Begins Here & Now"

by shel

© july 2002

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disclaimer:the charmed ones, cole, and leo and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too

rating:pg-13

summary:one stormy summer day reveals much in a series of heart-to-heart talks

timeline:first week in august, 2002

archive:please don't without express permission

up-to-you:based on previous experience of readers preferring an explicit ending (rather than having their imaginations work a bit with an ambiguous one), i've added the last paragraph to this storyif you'd prefer to leave it to your imagination to decide what happened, don't read past the triple starred lines

notes:this tale's practically demon-free and contains specific references to people or events from witch way now,' the fifth halliwheel,' saving private leo,' lost & bound,' morality bites', the three faces of phoebe,' womb raider,' marry-go-round,' long live the queen,' and charmed and dangerous'please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why notand, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames

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Prologue

He discreetly pulled the sword from the folds of his black robe. The instant he heard the demon's approach from behind, he spun and instinctively blocked the attack. 

Caught by surprise, the demon staggered back a few steps before it recovered. With both claws wrapped around its sword, the black creature bared its sharp white fangs and screamed as it lunged at him in an angry fit.

He smiled. He was ready to work out.

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She lifted the sword from its casing on the wall and was momentarily caught off-guard by its weight. She gripped its handle with both hands and swung it lightly to become familiar with it once again. After a few minutes, she removed her left hand from the handle and swung it with only her right.

She smiled. She was ready to work out.

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Green goo dripped from his sword and he smiled with great satisfaction. He stepped over the black and green puddle that was once a demon and swung the sword confidently with his left hand. Currently bare-chested, he practiced a few lunges with it before he finally walked back to the spot where he had earlier shed his robe. He sat down, leaned back against the cool warehouse wall, and stared at the sword he still held. He set it down next to himself but still kept a hand on it. 

He closed his eyes. The workout helped but it still wasn't enough to make him forget.

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Her tank top was drenched with sweat as she attacked the body-bag in one final stab with the sword. Breathing heavily, she dragged herself, and the sword, to the steps where she dropped in exhaustion. She propped the sword in front of her and rested both hands on its handle while she leaned forward and rested her chin on the backs of her hands. 

She closed her eyes. The workout helped but it still wasn't enough to make her forget.

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	2. chapter 1

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Chapter One

It was only late morning but the raging storm had already darkened the San Francisco skies so that it seemed like evening. And it all did little to alleviate Cole Turner's stress level. He practically stalked, instead of paced, across the floor of the empty chamber. He swung an arm out in frustration and, unintentionally, zapped a nearby bud vase with an electrical bolt as he passed it.

The sound of shattered glass caught his attention and he stopped and stared at the tiny pieces strewn on the floor. He took a step forward but crunched on a few of them. "Two months!" he shouted as stared up at the ceiling and clenched his hands into fists. "Two-and-a-half damn months since she told me to move on!" He let loose and blasted the blossoms with another bolt. He watched as they instantly became a spot of ash and he let out a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Cole turned his gaze towards the glass windows at the far end, marched towards them, and managed to restrain himself from letting loose another bolt. "How can she stand it?" he called out. "It's been damn near killing me to stay away from her!" He spun around and stared at his fists, "If I hadn't spent the time learning to use these new powerstraining with themI don't know what" His voice suddenly trailed off and he began to pace in a more subdued manner.

After his second pass near those windows, Cole quietly wondered, "She couldn't have meant it. She loves me. I know she does. And she knows I love her." Cole stared out one of the windows but couldn't see anything through the rain-streaked frosted panes.

He turned and walked to the middle of the room where he dropped into an open wooden folding chair. He leaned forward as he rested his elbows on his knees and hung his head. "We love each other," he whispered to himself as he stared at the floor. "That's all that matters.It's all that should." He fell silent again and remained in that position while his mind was flooded with visions of himself together with Phoebe.

Suddenly, he stood and the chair creaked as it was pushed back against the floor. "I have to convince her we can make this work," he declared. "But how? How do I convince her that love is enough? That we can get through anything as long as we're together. How do I convince her that being apart isn't the answer?"

Cole slowly began to pace again as he considered various plans. Except for an occasional grunt that accompanied a vigorous shake of his head, Cole thought in silence. "I've heard that The Charmed Ones are still in business so I know she kept her powers," he finally commented to himself. "And if she changed her mind about that, then maybe" Cole fell silent again, unwilling to raise his hopes by completing his thought.

Cole paced back to the windows. "It could work," he decided as he tried to sound convinced. "I'd have to plan everything to the last detail. At the very least, it would solve my problem of how to return to public life. But what if she still doesn't want to make it work? What if I end up pushing her further away? What if I'm wrong?"

A sudden clap of thunder echoed through the chamber and, in mid-step, Cole stopped moving and raised his eyes to the ceiling. "That was rhetorical!" he called out.

He stared at the brass nameplate on the wall in front of him. "Actually, maybe now would be a good time to speak up. What do you say, Prue, any words of advice on how to get your sister back in my life?"

Another clap of thunder resounded in the mausoleum. "Forget I asked," he answered with a slight smile. But he continued talking to the plaque, "Doesn't matter, Prue. I'm not giving up on a life with Phoebe. And I won't let her, either. We can make it work."

"And what if your plan backfires?" the voice of Victor Bennett called out from behind Cole. "What if Phoebe ends up hurt even more?"

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"Are you all right, Ms. Halliwell?" Elise Rothman asked as she entered Phoebe's office.

"Papercut," Phoebe mumbled as she stuck the tip of her left index finger in her mouth.

"Yeah, those can hurt like hell," Elise answered in a distracted manner as she stepped back into the hall, "but no need to alert everyone on the floor." Elise stared at her employee while Phoebe mumbled an apology. "I gotta tell you, Halliwell," she admitted, "you've turned in some pretty good columns lately."

Surprised by the rare compliment, Phoebe removed her fingertip from her mouth and simply answered, "Thanks."

"I don't know if Karen Young ever managed to turn in over a week's worth of columns in advance," Elise added. 

Phoebe shrugged in embarrassment. "I've been trying to catch up on all the mail. Between what I inherited and what I started getting on my own..."

"Well, whatever's got you motivated, keep it up," Elise encouraged in an indifferent tone as she left the office.

"Yeah," Phoebe commented to herself after Elise left, "keep it up." She opened her desk drawer and took out a small picture of herself and Cole that had been taken at the party his firm had thrown in their penthouse. Back when she was happy. Before she was forced to accept the truth. Before all hell had broken loose and her heart torn apart. "You're still my motivation. Except now work keeps my mind off you" Phoebe wiped a tear from her cheek and whispered, "It's better this way, Cole. We tried but we can't make it work and I've got to move onI have to." She put the photo back in her drawer, faced her computer monitor, and started to type. But she stopped almost as soon as she'd started and she leaned back in her chair and murmured, "Where are you, Cole?"

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"With Prue?" Victor commented as the door to the mausoleum shut behind him. "Not the daughter I'd have expected to find you with."

"What are you doing here?" Cole asked in genuine surprise.

"I might ask you the same," Victor answered as he strode toward his son-in-law. "Prue wasn't exactly your biggest fan."

"That's why I'm here," Cole commented. After noticing Victor's look of puzzlement, he continued, "I needed a quiet place to think, sort things out, and figured Prue would be the perfect sounding board because we never saw eye-to-eye."

"Prue's dead," Victor snapped. "She can't be a sounding board to anyone."

Cole disagreed, "Death doesn't always mean the end of --"

"What if someone saw you?" Victor sharply interrupted. "Why didn't you just visit your own mausoleum and leave hers alone?" He asked as he broke eye contact with Cole and gazed at his eldest daughter's memorial. He absentmindedly brushed the beaded water off his sleeve as he turned his head and concentrated once again on Cole.

"I wasn't worried about running into anyone in this storm," Cole replied just as another clap of thunder sounded. "As for the other mausoleum," he added, "I didn't want to risk running into Phoebe."

"Why would she go there?" Victor asked in a stunned tone. "Don't tell me you've been meeting her there." 

"No," Cole solemnly answered, "you can relax. I haven't seen Phoebe since that night in the woods when I saved her." Victor let out a breath but Cole continued, "But I know my wife and that's the one place she would go if she wantedto be alone."

Victor considered Cole's words before he answered, "Then I imagine she's been there quite a bit during the past few weeks."

Cole instantly grew concerned, "Is she okay? Did something happen to her?"

"Phoebe gets up, goes to work, comes home," Victor assured him. "They kept their damned powers so they're still fighting demons. Still risking theirnever mind, the point is that, in spite of what she told you about wanting to end things and move on, I don't think she has at all."

"Why not?" Cole asked in an almost hopeful tone.

Victor thought a moment and answered, "I think she's merely going through the motions of day-to-day life. She doesn't go out except to work and she takes work home with her. She brushes aside all my attempts to talk to her about it. I don't even think she's talked to her sisters. She's keeping it all inside and I don't know how much longer she can go on before something inside her snaps. And there doesn't seem to be a damn thing I can do about it," he vented as he ignored the water that dripped from his hair down the sides of his face.

Cole didn't respond and the two men stood together for several moments lost in their own individual thoughts. Victor's wet shoes squeaked as he suddenly turned his back to Cole. 

Cole was startled from his thoughts by the noise. He looked up and politely stepped back but still kept an eye on his father-in-law. 

Victor squeezed his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He tried to push all thoughts of Prue from his mind and choked back a sob by clearing his throat. He turned around to face Cole and croaked, "Let's get the hell out of here."

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	3. chapter 2

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Chapter Two

"And go where?" Leo Wyatt asked his wife while he levitated above the bar at P3 and changed the bulb from one of the spotlights. "I don't think you should be traveling, or even orbing, anywhere yet."

"What are you doing?" Piper practically shrieked when Leo's mid-air position suddenly registered in her mind. "Get down!" she ordered as she slapped her clipboard down on the bar.

Startled, Leo nearly dropped the burnt-out bulb he held. He lowered himself to the floor and faced his wife who stood on the other side of the bar with her hands on her hips and a frown on her face. "I thought I was helping you, Piper."

"How?" Piper growled. "By using your powers in the open so that anybody could see?"

"Don't worry," Leo said as he placed the bulb on the bar and walked around a stack of cartons towards Piper. He placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "No one's here but us and all the doors are locked."

"Leo," Piper tried to step back, "that's not the poi--"

"Piper," Leo calmly interrupted, "nothing happened." She didn't look satisfied and he continued, "You know, I'm tempted to blame your hormones for your constant flip-flopping rules of me using my powers but you'd probably try to blow me up for merely mentioning the h' word."

Piper glared at him but still couldn't keep a sheepish smile from forming. "I'm sorry, honey, I know you wouldn't use your powers unless it was safe and I know that there've been times I wanted you to use them for selfish purposes and other times that I insisted you do everything the old-fashioned way but I'm a bit nervous these days what with everything we've been through with the Source and then with the Angel of Destiny and now that we know I'm definitely pregnant I just don't want to risk any -- why are you smiling like that?"

Leo laughed and quickly kissed her on the lips. "I'm just amazed you could say all that in one breath. I didn't realize pregnancy would turn you into such a chatterbox."

"Lay off the pregnancy jokes," Piper demanded as she lightly slapped his chest in annoyance. But she suddenly leaned into him for a hug. "I'm sorry," she replied in a quivering voice.

"Oh, honey, don't cry," Leo requested as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He sighed, "I was teasing. I know why you're worried and I understand. It's okay."

Piper sniffled, "The doctor was so insistent about the results of all those tests I had taken. He really was amazed by this pregnancy."

"He never said it would be impossible," Leo maintained.

"Just unlikely," she countered. "I don't want anything to jinx this for us, Leo," she insisted. "Especially when it comes to magic and personal gain. I saw only Melinda in our future and I feel like this is our only chance and I'm so afraid of blowing it."

"You should know by now that your future constantly changes," Leo told her, "with each choice you make each day. You already know that future has changed because Prue is no longer in it." Piper sniffled and he brushed some hair from her face. "And, just because you only saw Melinda doesn't mean she will be our only child. And even if she is, I won't love her, or you, any less. And not only that," he added as he tilted her chin up enough to gaze into her eyes, "you're not going to blow it because I know you are going to be a wonderful mother." Piper was about to interrupt but he brought his finger to her lips and still continued, "You just have to let me help out every now and then. And if that means using a little bit of magic then that's the way it'll be."

"I trust you, Leo. I do," she said as she hugged him again. "You always know just what to say," she sighed contentedly as he rubbed her back. "And I do appreciate your helping me with the inventory today," she added as she stepped back. "I really do. I always got Phoebe to help me with it but now that she's working.Leo, do you think she's happy with her job?"

Leo was taken aback by the shift in conversation. He led Piper by the hand to the sisters' private booth and sat down next to her. "Why do you ask?"

Piper shrugged, "She's always so busy now but it seems like she's almost too busy. I understand she's trying to catch up on Karen's mail but now that she's taken over the column it's as if the incoming mail has doubled and she hasn't taken a break."

"Her column's become fresh and attracted a lot of attention," Leo commented. "Is that such a bad thing?"

Piper shook her head, "No, of course not. But, it's been all work with Phoebe. She's been taking it home and she doesn't go out anymore. I can't recall the last time she wanted to go shopping."

"There are a lot of people who are reaching out for help," Leo rationalized. "Once she develops a system to sort and answer the letters, it might not seem so bad."

"Last night, I found her asleep in the sun room surrounded by piles of letters," Piper continued. "She's exhausted, Leo, and I wonder if maybe it was a mistake for her to take this job. We can't expect the Underworld to be quiet forever. What happens when top demons start attacking us again? How will she manage both jobs that are so physically and emotionally draining?"

"She will," Leo simply answered. "Look, Piper, both you and Paige have careers other than your Charmed ones. Shouldn't Phoebe be entitled to one too?"

"Of course," Piper answered, "but --"

"I think we all took it for granted that she was always home," Leo said and, before Piper could interrupt, he continued, "and maybe that worked when it was such a dangerous time for you but she needed a job, Piper. She needed a sense of purpose. A sense of feeling needed."

"We needed her," Piper softly said. "But we weren't trying to keep her bound to the house, you know. Maybe a part-time job would've been better."

"You know how hard she tried to find a job, part-time or not," Leo commented. "But also think about what happened to Phoebe when she was hexed by Grams's ring. She lost all her personality save for that happy homemaker for Cole. That wasn't Phoebe at all; even Cole recognized that. She needed a job, a career, something to give her an identity other than being a Charmed One or Cole's wife. Something that made her feel useful, helpful."

"Cole," Piper thoughtfully commented, "sounds a bit like what he wanted to find after he was stripped of Belthazor."

"In a way, it is," Leo agreed. "Everyone needs to feel a sense of identity apart from the one they have with their loved ones. This job fell into Phoebe's lap and it's been perfect for her."

"I know," Piper agreed, "she's always loved giving advice."

"It's not just about her telling people what to do," Leo said as he slightly shook his head. "It's about her helping people in a non-magical way. It's given her that sense of purpose and identity she's needed. And," he added as an afterthought, "whether she realizes it or not, it's also become the perfect way for her to hide."

"Hide from who?" Piper asked in confusion. "We haven't had any demon attacks, well, not major ones anyway, in over three weeks. And she hasn't seen Cole in over two months." Piper glanced at Leo and recognized the look on his face. "Me? You think she's been hiding from me, don't you."

"Piper, when was the last time she came to P3 or even sat down and had dinner with us?" Leo gently asked. "Breakfast? She just grabs a cup of coffee and a muffin and runs out the door. Even Paige, who's actually been getting to work on time, sticks around long enough for pancakes or eggs."

"Phoebe has a lot of work," Piper responded quietly, "and it's not like she's ignoring us. We talk." Leo didn't respond and Piper's eyes glistened as she corrected herself, "No we don't. Not really. And it's not because of work. It's because of the baby. That's why she's been avoiding usme."

"She loves you, Piper, and she is excited about this baby," Leo assured her as he handed her a tissue from his pocket.

"But?" Piper questioned before she blew her nose.

"But she still misses Cole," Leo answered, "and she misses"

"Her baby," Piper quietly finished his thought. Leo nodded and she commented, "I thought she'd worked through all that."

"In two months?" Leo gently questioned. "I think it's going to take Phoebe a lot longer than that to come to terms with her losses."

"So what do we do?" Piper asked him. "How do we get her over this?" Leo stared at her but didn't answer. "What is it? Has she talked to you?" Leo shook his head. "Then, tell me, how do we get Phoebe to put this past her and move on? Leo?"

Leo hesitated another moment before he cautiously answered, "Maybe we don't."

"What do you mean?" Piper asked with sudden irritation. "She has to put this behind her and get on with her life and she obviously hasn't been doing it very well on her own."

"How does she put a love like hers for Cole behind her and move on just like that?" Leo challenged. "Did you find it that easy to put me in your past and move on with Dan?"

"Now what does Dan have to do with Phoebe?" Piper asked in exasperation.

"You loved Dan but couldn't make it work with him because you loved me more," Leo stated. "You couldn't let go of what we had shared."

Piper shrugged, "So?"

"So why should you expect it be easy for Phoebe to put aside her love for Cole?" he asked. "They hada very deep love, Piper. They've risked everything for it and it won't be easy for either of them to let it go."

"Either of them?" Piper echoed. "Are you telling me you think Cole's right and that she made a mistake in telling him to move on? She didn't. A future with him is impossible. I know she loves him but she'll get over it in time."

"And what if she can't?" Leo asked. 

"She will," Piper insisted. "Phoebe can do anything once she sets her mind to it and that includes this. And we'll be right by her side to help her."

"What if she doesn't want your help?" Leo carefully asked.

Piper shook her head and stated, "Phoebe simply cannot be with Cole."

"This could also be why she's been avoiding us," Leo gently said.

Piper was about to retort when she suddenly realized her husband was right. "So what do we do? Tell Phoebe to take him back? Open ourselves to all that pain all over again?" 

"I think," Leo diplomatically replied, "that we stay out of it. It's none of our business."

"She's my sister," Piper insisted, "and it sure as hell is our business."

"You talked about your future before, well," Leo reminded her as he shook his head, "think about this: In one of your futures, Phoebe ended up burnt at the stake for murder and, in another, a bitter old woman who never again found love after Cole."

"So?" Piper reluctantly asked.

"So," he answered, "you shouldn't push her because you just might end up pushing her completely away. The only advice we should give her is that she talk to Cole because any decision affecting each of their futures should be made by them both together."

The couple sat silently for a few moments before Piper quietly commented, "I wish there was some other way because I still don't like it."

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	4. chapter 3

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Chapter Three

"Yeah, but I do," Phoebe spoke into her phone before she hung up. A knock sounded on her closed door and, without turning from her computer monitor, she responded, "Come in." 

"Hey, Phoebe," Darryl Morris greeted as he opened the door to her office and stuck his head in the doorway.

Phoebe turned her head and welcomed him with a wide smile. "Darryl! C'mon in. What're you doing here?"

"Had to question one of the journalists," he answered as he vaguely pointed to the hallway. "Figured I might tempt you to join me for lunch but I see you've already got it covered," he added as he gestured to the tuna sandwich on her desk.

"Ordered in because of the storm which I won't complain about because we need the rain so badly. Here," she offered as she raised half her sandwich to him.

Darryl waved his hands in a negative way, "No, really, I'm not out to eat your lunch."

"I insist," she stated as she indicated for him to sit in the chair in front of her desk. Darryl didn't move and she added, "Please, look at the size of this thing. There's no way I'm gonna eat it all."

Darryl gazed hungrily at the sandwich and asked, "Are you sure?"

Phoebe confirmed by nodding and took a bite from the other half. As he sat down, she said, "So, talk to me. What's up?" Darryl stared intently at his sandwich and she asked, "Is something wrong?" Darryl shrugged in embarrassment and took a bite. "Darryl? Come on, you know me. You can tell me anything."

"That's what's so weird about it," he commented with a stuffed mouth.

"What?" Phoebe asked as she pulled out a tomato from her sandwich and nibbled at it.

"You being Dear Phoebe' and all. I mean," he quickly clarified, "there's nothing wrong with you being an advice columnist but it's not something I've ever taken really seri-- Never mind." He took another bite and noticed her stare. He sighed to himself, "I'm already in the doghouse and now I probably will be for life."

Phoebe let out a little laugh. "Oh, Darryl, you had me worried there for a minute. I thought it was something serious."

"It is serious," he insisted.

"Sorry," Phoebe apologized as she tried not to laugh at her friend's grave expression. "Sowhat'd you do?"

"What makes you think I did anything?" he sputtered as he was about to swallow. "Why's it automatically my fault?"

"You're the one in the doghouse," Phoebe teased as she handed him a napkin.

Darryl wiped his mouth and told her, "My mother-in-law's been staying with us."

"Oh, I didn't know." Phoebe smiled, "Did she make those fabulous brownies of hers?"

"Yeah," he answered as he ate some more of his half, "fresh batch today. I'll try to remember to bring you some tomorrow. Might be the only way I can taste them."

"So," Phoebe asked as she caught some overflowing tuna with her finger and licked it off, "what's the problem? I thought you had a great relationship with her."

"I thought so too," Darryl agreed, "but it seems I haven't been able to do anything right since she got here. Two weeks ago. Two long weeks ago."

"Maybe there's something going on with her?" Phoebe suggested. "Something you're not aware of?"

Darryl shook his head as he took another bite. "My wife told me everything's fine. So, tell me, why am I the one wearing wrinkled shirts?"

"No one did the ironing?" Phoebe good-naturedly asked.

"Oh, she did the ironing," Darryl answered, "just not my clothing."

Phoebe smiled, "Have you tried talking to her?"

"'Til I'm blue in the face," he insisted as he finished his sandwich. "She manages to twist and turn everything I say. After this morning's incident I almost wished I'd had --"

"Had what?" Phoebe asked after Darryl suddenly stopped speaking.

"Never mind," he answered as he crumpled and tossed his napkin in her trashcan. "Thanks for lunch but I'd better get back to --"

"Darryl," Phoebe interrupted as she put down the remainder of her half, "what were you going to say?"

"Nothing," he insisted as he stood.

"Come on," she requested.

Darryl looked at her and admitted, "I don't want to upset you."

"How?" she asked with a smile. "By admitting you'd like to strangle your mother-in-law? You should read some of the mail I've gotten about mothers-in-law."

"It's okay," he said with a grin, "I've seen it in person." He turned to go, "Catch you later."

"Wait," she called to him. He turned around and she seriously asked, "What were you going to say? Really."

Darryl paused a moment before he quietly answered, "That I wished I had been able to throw an energy ball just enough to shut her up for a minute."

"Oh," Phoebe murmured as she leaned back in her chair.

"I told you I didn't want to say anything," Darryl apologized as he stepped in closer.

"It's okay," Phoebe replied in a tremulous voice. "I guess I didn't expect you to say that." Darryl was unable to answer and she asked him, "Do you miss him?"

"Him? Cole?" He squirmed a bit as he answered, "Um, yeah, I guess I do in a guy sort of way."

Phoebe smiled as she gestured once again to the chair, "He didn't mind hanging out with you, you know."

"Really?" he asked as he sat down.

"Really," she confirmed, "I think you were the only cop he didn't mind working with. He felt you had integrity and didn't necessarily mind getting your fingers dirty if it meant getting the job done. I think he once said you'd have made a decent demon."

"And that's a good thing?" Darryl asked with a raised eyebrow.

Phoebe smiled, "Yeah, in a certain kind of way. You impressed him. For a hundred-year-old demon, that's a compliment. And he had fun when you were around. I mean it's not like Cole had any friends. He and Leo did reach some sort of common ground but I'm not really sure Leo was that."

"Well, considering both their backgrounds," Darryl contemplated, "I guess it's amazing they worked together as well as they did." Phoebe nodded and Darryl added, "You know, in spite of all the trouble you guys caused me, Cole really could be an okay guy." Phoebe laughed and he asked, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she chuckled, "I'm not even sure why it popped into my head."

"What?" Darryl asked with a hesitant chuckle. Phoebe shook her head but Darryl insisted, "I fessed up, now it's your turn."

"It's nothing really," she said. But when she saw Darryl's unconvinced look, she explained, "I just thought about that little challenge you guys had at Cole's bachelor party."

"What challenge?" Darryl cautiously asked.

"The one about putting out," she grinned. "What was yours again, a year? No, five dates," she laughed.

Darryl blushed in embarrassment before he complained, "He snitched? I take back those nice things I said about him. How could he do that?"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better," Phoebe said with a grin, "he only told me about the party after he'd been tortured for a while. Rather deliciously, I might add."

"Well, it doesn't," he answered as he crossed his arms in front of him. He noticed Phoebe's smile suddenly fade. "Hey, you okay?" he quickly asked. "I didn't mean to upset you by talking about him."

Phoebe shrugged, "It's hard, Darryl. I miss him so much. And it's so much worse than when I thought he was dead."

"What do you mean?" he encouraged.

"I thought Cole was gone forever after we vanquished the Source. I thought I'd never see him again," she slowly explained, "never feel his touch or hear him call my name. But he's not dead. I have seen him. And touched him. And heard him call my name. But we can't be together and it's not because he's evil. But it's still because of me, just the same, because it's my choice" Phoebe fell silent and wiped away a tear that trailed down her cheek.

"Yeah, that's, uh, something I still don't understand," Darryl commented in hesitation.

"What is?" she asked as she sniffled into a tissue.

"Why aren't you together?" he asked. Phoebe didn't answer and he apologized, "Sorry, none of my business."

"It's okay," she responded, "I'm not used to talking about this, that's all."

"What do you mean? Haven't you talked to your sisters?" Darryl inquired. 

Phoebe snorted, "Please, they're so relieved he's gone, they couldn't care less."

"Oh, come on," Darryl said in disbelief, "they love you and you know it. They would want to help you any way they could."

Phoebe shook her head, "They just wouldn't understand. Not about this. Sometimes, I'm not sure I even understand." 

"Have you talked to Cole," he asked, "since the last time you saw him?"

Phoebe shook her head and admitted, "I can't. I love him and I know he wants us to be together and I'm afraid that if I talk to him I'll let him convince me and I can't let that happen. I just can't." Phoebe caught the time on her desk clock and told him, "Wow, I didn't realize how late it was. Don't you have to get going?"

"Yeah, I guess I'd better," Darryl said as he let her end the discussion. He stood and added, "Just promise me something." 

"Sure," Phoebe agreed as she also stood.

"Don't keep all this bottled up inside you," he requested. "If you can't talk to Cole or your sisters, talk to your dad. If not your dad, then call me. Any time. Day or night. I mean it."

Phoebe softly agreed, "Sure."

Unconvinced by her tone, Darryl continued, "Look, if those choices don't appeal to you, then pretend you were someone writing to Dear Phoebe' for advice and consider how you would answer her." Phoebe chuckled but he quickly explained, "Don't laugh. It works. Write down everything you're feeling. All about your pain and how much you miss him and why you don't think the two of you could make it together. Seal the envelope and mail it to the paper. Or just put it in a pile somewhere and don't look at it for several days. When you do read it, read it as though you were seeing it for the first time through the eyes of Dear Phoebe,' as though it was from a total stranger, and then see how you would advise the Phoebe who wrote the letter."

Phoebe nodded in understanding and kissed Darryl on the cheek. "Thanks, Darryl. For always being there."

Darryl smiled, "Hang in there, kiddo. It'll all be okay."

Phoebe called out to Darryl as he was halfway out the door, "Darryl!" He turned around and she added, "Just a thought but maybe she feels you haven't spent enough quality time with her. You are her only son-in-law. Try flowers and take her out to dinner."

Darryl winked at her and left. Phoebe returned to her desk and sat down. She stared at her keyboard but couldn't begin to type. Instead, she opened a side drawer and pulled out a spiral-bound notebook. She opened it to a blank page and began to write, "Dear Phoebe"

***** ***** ***** *****


	5. chapter 4

****

Chapter Four

"I need your help," Cole told Piper, as he stood with Victor in the Halliwells' front hallway.

"You have some nerve coming here," Paige announced as she stepped off the stairs' bottom landing and crossed to Piper's side.

"Hear him out," Victor requested.

"Dad, I think we need to talk," Piper suggested as she motioned to him.

Victor shook his head, "I already know what Cole has to say. We spent most of the afternoon working on the details of this plan."

"What plan?" Paige asked. "What could you possibly have to plan together? And why would we even want to help?"

"Because even if Phoebe meant what she said about us not being together, I still want to have a life of my own," Cole answered. "And after everything I've been through, I think I deserve it."

"Everything you've been through?" Piper exclaimed in disbelief. "What about everything we've been through? We trusted you, Cole. We let you into our lives, not once but twice, and look what you did to us."

"Piper" Victor cautioned.

"Why are you suddenly on his side?" Piper demanded of her father.

"I'm on my daughter's side," Victor informed her, "and, as your father, too, I'm telling you that I think you should hear what he has to say."

"It's okay," Cole told Victor, "let her get it out."

"Leo!" Paige shouted.

"You betrayed us," Piper angrily continued. "You used us, tortured us, tried to kill us."

"I suppose I could say that I didn't have much of a choice against the Source," Cole answered, "but it probably wouldn't mean very much to you in spite of your own first hand experience at being evil. So, instead, I'm willing to make a deal."

"Typical," Paige muttered. "Why should we even trust you to keep any deal?"

At the same time, Piper asked, "What kind of deal?"

Leo suddenly orbed in and Victor rolled his eyes before he greeted his other son-in-law, "Leo."

"Cole?" Leo questioned as he looked at everyone's faces and stood behind Piper. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to clear my name," Cole stated. "Victor filled me in on everything that's happened. By the way," he directed to Piper, "congratulations. I know how badly you wanted this. You too, Leo."

Leo nodded and rested his hands on Piper's shoulders but Piper crossed her arms in front of her and glared at Cole. "Don't get distracted," she ordered. "Get on with it."

Cole obliged and continued, "I know that Darryl told Phoebe to report my absence to the police and I know what they suspect of me. I want to set the record straight. Not just for me but for Phoebe, too. No one should think she was abandoned, or think any less of her, especially when it isn't true."

"Phoebe doesn't want you anymore," Paige emphatically stated. 

"Is that what she said?" Cole asked. No one answered and he added with a slight smile, "I didn't think so."

"You mentioned a deal," Piper reminded him.

Cole nodded, "I've come up with a plan that will clear me with the police and my firm and let me make a life here for myself without any hassles from either."

"Yeah, that's all very well and good for you," Paige said, "but what do we get out of this deal?"

"If Phoebe decides, of her own free will," he pointedly told them, "that she still wants me to leave, I will. And you will never see me again."

"Great," Paige quickly answered, "let's get it over with then."

"Paige, wait," Piper cautioned.

"For what?" Paige asked her sister. "The sooner we do this, the sooner he's out of our lives forever."

"Are you that sure Phoebe will still ask him to leave?" Victor asked.

"Yes," Paige stated.

"No," Piper answered at the same time. She looked at Cole and added, "But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be best for Phoebe if this marriage was dissolved and you both moved on. And what do you mean by her own free will'?"

"I will not pressure her in any way," Cole solemnly assured her, "but, then, the same goes for you. Forcing Phoebe to choose will only backfire. All I wantAll I want is the chance to talk to her. Alone. To tell my side and to hear hers. I will abide by her wishes after we've had the chance to decide on our future together."

Piper looked to Paige who gave her a reluctant nod. She turned back to Cole and asked, "So what do we have to do?"

***** ***** ***** *****

"Have dinner with me," Victor told Phoebe as she sat at her desk.

"Dinner?" she questioned as she glanced at her desk clock. "I can't believe it's that late," she commented.

"That's because when you're that busy, you don't notice how fast time flies," he explained with a smile. "Come on, Phoebe, the rain's finally let up and you need to close shop for the night. We'll go anywhere in the city you'd like."

Phoebe smiled but shook her head, "Thanks, Dad, but I really want to get through this batch of letters. I'll just order something in."

Victor reached across her desk and put a hand on the letter she was holding and placed it down on the desk. "Not this time, honey," he told her.

"Dad, come on," she said with a half-hearted smile. "I've got a lot of work to do."

"That excuse won't work tonight," Victor insisted. "You're going to have dinner with me and that's final."

Phoebe's smile faded, "Is something wrong, Dad? I mean, if there's something you want to tell me, I'd rather you just tell me now than over dinner."

"I'm worried about you," Victor quietly told her as he tried to hold her gaze. But, he averted his eyes and pulled back his hand. "I'm just worried about you."

Phoebe stared at her father and relented, "Nothing fancy. And I'm taking this pile home with me."

"Great," Victor commented in relief. "There's this new French place that opened. Not an extensive menu but everything I've tried there so far has been great."

"How many times have you been there?" Phoebe asked as she started gathering some letters into a pile.

"A couple," he answered as he stood. "It's a great place for conversation."

Phoebe stopped what she was doing and glanced warily at her father. "Conversation?"

"Dates," Victor quickly said.

Phoebe sighed in relief. "So," she asked as she put the pile into her laptop's carrying case, "anyone you want to tell me about?"

Victor smiled, "Not yet. Come on, you're going to love this place."

***** ***** ***** *****

"Wow, I love what you've done to the place," Paige dryly said as she, Piper, and Leo faced Cole in the center of the abandoned warehouse. "You seem to have the very latest in broken glass and crates decor.

Cole ignored her jab and reminded the sisters, "Don't hold back. Come at me with everything you've got. Use any of the trash here if you want. This has to look real."

"When do we start?" Paige anxiously asked as she noticed water dripping down the wall from a leak in the roof.

Cole smiled, "And I thought all whitelighters were pacifists."

"I'm not all whitelighters," Paige smirked as she called for a broken slat to her hand.

"Paige!" Piper yelped.

Paige shrugged, "He said use anything I wanted. I wanted this."

Cole nodded to Piper, "You have to make the beating look good. I'm not evil and I'm still not sure how much of an effect Leo's powers will have on me but it won't matter. I'll need just enough healing to make it seem like I've been a prisoner and abused for a long time."

Paige was about to hit him when Piper stopped her. "Wait! I just want to make sure." She faced Cole. "Dad's keeping Phoebe occupied and won't tell her about any of this?" Cole nodded and she continued, "We come at you and can hit you, kick you, whatever, and Leo will heal you just enough to get those bruises to fade so they seem like they're old and from long ago. Then we attack you all over again."

Cole nodded, "After Leo heals me again, you'll come at me one last time. Furlak, the demon I hired, will be here in about an hour and will make an anonymous call to the police. You'll vanquish him and orb out before the police come. They'll get me to the hospital where they'll question me and get Phoebe."

"And after you talk to her," Paige interrupted, "you leave town forever, right?"

"If that's what Phoebe wants," Cole corrected her as the distant sound of thunder rumbled. "Are you all ready?"

***** ***** ***** *****


	6. chapter 5

****

Chapter Five

"Ready as I'll ever be," Phoebe told Inspector Miles. She gripped her father's arm as they all stood in the hospital's waiting room. 

Victor patted her arm with his other hand. "Do you want me to go in with you?" Phoebe shook her head and he encouraged her with a smile. She turned to go and he questioned the inspector, "You said it was an anonymous tip that led you to him?"

The inspector nodded, "But whoever made the call was long gone by the time police arrived. And we weren't able to trace the call. At least we have these sketches to go on."

"Sketches?" Phoebe asked as she suddenly stopped in the hallway and turned around. She walked back to them and looked from the inspector to her father.

"Sketches of what?" Paige spoke up from behind them, as she, Piper, and Leo joined the trio.

"Are you all right?" Piper asked Phoebe as she hugged her younger sister. She glanced at the inspector and told Phoebe, "Dad, um, called and said you were here." Phoebe mutely nodded and Piper asked as she pulled away, "Cole? Um, how is he?"

"He's been badly beaten," Phoebe answered in a shaky voice. "Someone found him in some warehouse and called the police. He's got some broken ribs and bad bruising and has a pretty bad concussion. II haven't seen him yet."

"The doctor told me that he should make a complete recovery," the inspector assured her. "He was barely conscious when they brought him in. He's very lucky you know. He could have been killed by the people who kept him in that warehouse."

"I don't understand," Phoebe tearfully commented to her family. "How could this have happened to him?"

"We'll find them, Mrs. Turner," Inspector Miles said, "and we'll bring them to justice."

"You know who did this?" Paige asked him as she nervously glanced to Piper and Leo.

The inspector gestured to an officer who brought over a large manila envelope. He opened it and pulled out two large drawings. "Before the doctor kicked us out, Mr. Turner managed to work long enough with one of our sketch artists. While he insists they never touched him, they seem to be the two in charge of his kidnapping. Do you recognize them?"

The sisters huddled together and looked at the drawings while Victor and Leo peered over their shoulders from behind them. The sisters gasped as they recognized the charcoal portraits of the Seer and the Lazarus Demon.

"What?" Inspector Miles quickly uttered. "Do you know them?"

"I do," Victor answered before anyone else. "At least her. I don't know her name but I've seen her before."

The inspector pulled out a small notepad, "Where? Did she say anything?"

"Dad," Piper warily began, "what are you --"

"I'm afraid it's not much," Victor told the inspector as he cut off his daughter's warning. "It was at the wedding."

"Whose wedding?" the inspector asked.

"Phoebe's," Victor answered and focused on his daughter. "Shortly before you were set to come in, I saw her with Cole in the church's entryway."

"What do you mean she was at the wedding?" Phoebe asked in a tremulous voice. "My wedding? Cole never told me."

"He couldn't," Victor said to her and quickly added, for the inspector's benefit, "but I'm sure it's only because he didn't want to ruin the day for you."

"What do you mean?" the inspector asked. "Why was she there? Had she previously threatened Mr. or Mrs. Turner?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Victor truthfully answered. "Cole only mentioned it once in passing shortly after the wedding. He said she'd bumped into him by accident a couple of weeks before and kept popping up wherever he was. He felt she was a little disturbed but that he could handle her."

"He should have come to the police," the inspector chastised.

Victor grinned, "You don't know my son-in-law."

"He told me she kept trying to convince him to help overthrow some sort of dictator," Inspector Miles skeptically commented. "Why she needed him, he didn't say but she, and this Lazer dude, as Mr. Turner called him, always left him in the hands of some lackeys. He last saw the pair several weeks ago. His sense of time is off so we're not sure exactly how long they've been gone. And the ones who guarded him and did the actual beatings disappeared early this morning. He was not very --"

"I'm sorry," a pleasant-looking nurse interrupted as she joined the small group, "but Mr. Turner is asking again for his wife and visiting hours are nearly over."

Inspector Miles turned to Phoebe, "I won't keep you any longer. I know how anxious you must be to see your husband. I'll keep you informed of our progress."

Still in shock, Phoebe simply stared at him.

Victor thanked the inspector who left with the officer and turned back to his daughter. "Are you okay?"

Phoebe looked at her father and nodded. In a shaky voice, she announced, "I have to see him. We know what really happened to the Seer and that demon so I'm sure he came up with that story for the benefit of the police but I have to find out what happened to him in that warehouse. God, he could've been killed and I'd never have known." She didn't notice the uncomfortable looks the others all exchanged and she added, "I mightI might be a while."

"Take all the time you need," Piper told her as she clasped Phoebe's hand. "We'll be here waiting."

Phoebe shook her head. "You don't have to. I can call a cab or even call for Leo."

"We'll be here waiting," Piper repeated as she gave Phoebe's hand a squeeze.

Phoebe smiled timidly and turned to go but Paige called out to her. "Don't let sympathy get the better of you," Paige advised. Phoebe looked at her in confusion and Paige explained, "I know you love Cole and seeing him hurt will only make you feel worse than you already do. Don't let it cloud your judgment. He's going to be fine but he may use this incident as a way to change your mind and let him back into your life. Be careful."

Phoebe listened to her sister's words but, before she turned away, she simply stated, "Cole would never willingly hurt me."

***** ***** ***** *****

"You do believe that don't you?" Cole asked in a weak voice as he lay propped up in the hospital bed. "I would never do anything to hurt you."

Phoebe nodded as she still stood by the door, "I know." She shrugged and sniffled as her eyes brimmed with tears, "But it happened anyway. More than once."

"I know," he acknowledged as he held out a shaky hand to her. "And I don't know if there are any words to tell you how sorry I am."

Phoebe stared at it for a moment before she slowly stepped forward, took his hand in hers, and sat on the stool next to his bed. She kissed his hand and held it tightly between hers. "I know you are. And I know you never wanted to become the Source. Oh, Cole, I know you love me, just as much as I love you. That's never been in question."

"Then why isn't it enough anymore?" Cole asked in a hoarse voice before he began coughing.

Phoebe glanced at the bed stand and noticed a pitcher and cups. She gently laid Cole's hand on the bed, went over to the stand, and poured some water into one of the plastic cups. She brought it back to him and held it to his lips as he leaned forward and sipped.

Cole coughed as some water dripped down his chin and he leaned back with a groan. "Thanks."

Phoebe cupped his chin in her free hand and tenderly wiped his chin with her thumb. She impulsively kissed him on the lips before she quickly stepped back. She turned away and replaced the cup on the stand but rolled the stand closer to his reach as she turned back to him. "In case you want some more later," she explained.

"You didn't answer my question," he quietly asked. "Why isn't love enough for us?"

"Cole," she softly answered, "you're hurt. This isn't the time. We'll talk later. Ipromise."

"Now," he insisted, "I need to know, Phoebe. Please."

Phoebe searched his eyes and, after a few moments, sat down on the stool. Softly, she asked him, "Was there ever a moment, even the briefest moment, that it was just us? One brief solitary moment that wasn't the Source's evil tainting either of us?"

"Yes," he answered quickly, "of course."

"Really?" Phoebe asked in a more animated tone. "Then maybe you should fill me in because, from the time you were taken over by the Source, for the life of me, I can't think of any."

Cole closed his eyes and, when he opened them, stared intently at his wife. "Every time I kissed you. Every time I told you that I loved you. Every time we made love. That was me. That was us. Phoebe, in over a hundred years, I never felt the way I did when I saw you being escorted down the aisle by your father. You took my breath away and when you turned to meI actually thought my heart would stop beating."

Phoebe was shaken by his serious tone and she shook her head. "Please, don't bring up that disaster," she requested.

"Phoebe, once I saw you," Cole declared, "I had every intention of going through with that ceremony, Source or not."

Phoebe considered his words and said, "Well, I guess, as usual, fate had other plans for us."

"I know the dark ceremony bothers you," he acknowledged, "and I hate to admit that the Source was there and a part of it. But you have to believe that I meant every vow I made to you that night. It wasn't the Source who promised to love you and cherish you. It wasn't the Source who promised to stand by you in sickness and in health. Or through the good times and bad. It was me, Phoebe. Only me."

Phoebe wiped away some tears and, after a moment, whispered, "And even after all those promises, you still allowed evil to influence me. You used it to separate me from my sisters and you hurt them."

"Would you rather I had killed them?" Cole retorted. Phoebe looked back at him in renewed shock and he explained, "It took everything I had to fight the Source on that. He would have accepted you as my wife but he still wanted nothing more than an end to the Charmed Ones. I did my best to keep them alive. For you."

"Great," Phoebe muttered, "so, I should be grateful that you only drove a wedge between us, got me to move out, and nearly drove Paige insane. When I think of how easily you manipulated us"

"I admit," Cole reluctantly acknowledged, "that there was some magical influence at work but don't tell me I really needed it to convince you to move out. You didn't hesitate to make your decision."

"Was it really my decision?" she snapped. "How do I know anymore just what was my choice and what was influenced by evil? You drugged me. How much control did I really have left?"

"The Seer drugged you," Cole answered. "She wa--"

Phoebe angrily cut him off, "Save it. She obviously didn't have to convince you too much for you to be swayed by her. And I especially don't want to discuss the Seer. Not after what she did to me. To our son."

Cole reached out for her hand but she angrily pulled away from him. He spoke in a hoarse voice, "I would never have gone along with her if I knew what she'd intended. I'd have let you destroy me first before I'd ever have hurt my child."

"Really?" Phoebe asked sarcastically. "Then how do you explain convincing me to drink her evil potion each day? You knew it was strengthening the baby's evil nature. Yet you deliberately lied to me each and every damned day!"

Cole averted his gaze. "I wanted to believe what the Seer had foreseen, that our child would be the most powerful magical child and that the potion would make certain of it. It was ego. Both the Source'sand mine," he confessed.

"So you allowed the Seer to use our child for evil," Phoebe spat, "and you claim you loved him?"

Cole looked back at her and told her, "I will never forget how I felt when you admitted you were pregnant. When I realized I was going to be a father I gotIt was me, Phoebe. I was the one who searched three different stores for the perfect teddy bear. I was the one who bought each balloon and flower to decorate our bedroom to surprise you. I was the one who was more absorbed with finding the right crib mobile than in paying attention to matters of the Underworld. I was the one who made love to you and watched over you as you rested. The Source may have had plans for our baby but I was its father and I was so very much in love with his mother." Cole ended in a fit of coughing.

"So because of the Source, our baby is gone," Phoebe quietly commented as she brought him the cup of water and held it to his lips. When he was done, she silently returned it to the stand and sat down.

"Because of the Seer," he corrected.

"Does it even matter?" she asked with a sigh.

"In a way, it does," he considered. "The Source I became was still blinded by visions of power and glory. He believed he could use my love for you to accomplish those goals and therefore believed the Seer's words about our child. Because she told him what he wanted to hear, he believed her and because I was still inside fighting him on some level, he was flawed enough that he could eventually be vanquished. She was the greater danger all along."

Phoebe considered his words and finally murmured, "You warned us she was evil. Back when she helped us defeat the Source and the Hollow. She played us all for fools and I wish to God she were here just so I could vanquish her all over again!"

Cole waited her recover from her sudden outburst before he said, "I wish there was something I could do to erase your pain. I wish you hadn't had to suffer from the Source's and Seer's manipulations. And I wish that I hadn't had any part in it. But I can't change the past, Phoebe. I can only promise you that it will be different in the future."

Phoebe shook her head and tearfully commented, "No. No more promises you can't keep." Cole was about to say something but she quickly continued, "You can't promise me that the Source won't somehow rise again or that some other demon won't become a new, more powerful Source. You can't promise that some other Seer or Oracle won't make a power play of her own based on her visions and desires. And you can't promise me that you won't succumb to evil again. Or that I won't. We can't protect each other from that, Cole, and it's time we accepted it."

"What do you mean?" Cole whispered.

Phoebe took his hand and spoke. "I love you, Cole. I love everything about you. And that includes your dark side. I admit that I did have trouble truly accepting your demonic side and I'm not sure when I was able to finally work through those issues. Maybe it was before we were married, maybe it wasn't until after I thought we'd vanquished you forever. But I've also realized that that very part of you may be why we fit so well together," she considered, "because I have a dark side too. One that after all this time, I've finally accepted. And that's why I'm ready to move on."

"I don't understand," Cole admitted. "If we fit so well together, why can't it work?"

"Because I don't think either of us is strong enough to stay on the good side when we can be so easily turned to the dark side," she answered before she muttered, "I have been watching way too much Star Wars'."

"If we have each other, we can help one another if either of us ever faces evil," Cole suggested.

"And what happens if one of us is influenced by evil when you or I are alone?" Phoebe countered. "How will we know if the other is truly acting on his or her own free will? What happens to our love if we're reduced to questioning the motive behind each choice we make? What happens when we stop believing in each other?" Phoebe shook her head and stated, "Our love is too precious to me, Cole, and I'd rather be apart from you than ever see it destroyed."

"That would never happen," Cole half-heartedly insisted as Phoebe stood.

She bent over and kissed him tenderly. "I will always love you, Cole Turner." She turned and walked to the door when Cole called to her.

"Wait!" She stopped but didn't turn around and he added, "There's something you have to know."

***** ***** ***** *****

"What is it?" Piper asked as she hurried towards Phoebe who passed by the waiting room in a daze. "What's wrong?"

"What happened?" Paige anxiously inquired as Piper pulled Phoebe into the waiting room.

Victor and Leo rose from their chairs and joined the sisters.

Phoebe acknowledged them all with tears in her eyes. "How could you?" she hissed to her sisters. "How could you do that to him? Did you enjoy it? You could have killed him!"

"Wouldn't be the first time," Paige muttered. Phoebe stared at her younger sister in shock and Paige apologized, "Sorry."

"He told you?" Piper asked.

"I knew he wouldn't keep his word," Paige muttered to Piper.

"Technically, he only made you and your father promise not to reveal anything," Leo quietly said. "He never said he wouldn't on his own." 

"And why wouldn't he?" Phoebe asked as she ignored the exchange. "He won't keep anything from me anymore, not after what we've been through. Even if he knows it means I'll be angry with him."

"Are you?" Piper asked.

"I know he wanted to clear his name," Phoebe tactfully answered. "And I know he wanted the chance to talk to me."

"How'd it go?" Piper asked in concern.

"Do you care?" Phoebe snapped.

"Of course I do," Piper answered in shock. "You're my sister and I love you."

"The same sister that was all too willing to vanquish me?" Phoebe taunted. 

A look of pain flashed across Piper's face. "If you think that was a decision I made lightly, you're wrong. I tried everything I could to turn you back and agonized with every step I took in making that potion."

"That was wrong of me," Phoebe contritely added. "That wasn't an easy time for any of us and I shouldn't have brought it up." She turned to leave.

"Phoebe, wait," Paige called out. "Don't leave like this. We have to talk this out."

"She's right," Piper confirmed. "Things haven't been right between us and we have to confront this issue. Before it tears us apart."

Phoebe disagreed, "No, not now. Now, I need to be alone. I have a lot to think about."

Paige looked helplessly from Piper to Leo. She glanced back to Phoebe and requested, "Will you at least keep in mind that we love you and only wanted to help you?"

"Will you keep in mind that, in spite of everything, Cole tried his best to fight the Source to protect you?" Phoebe countered. "Will you keep in mind that, in spite of everything, we still love each other?"

"So you're taking him back?" Piper asked in hesitation as she leaned into Leo for a hug.

"I don't know," Phoebe answered. "Cole told me about his deal with you. He didn't have to. He also didn't have to tell me your opinions on the matter. I know you'd rather he leave forever. And maybe that would be for the best. But I've just learned to accept who I am as a person, and as a witch, and I have a lot more to consider now before I make a decision."

"Take all the time you need, Phoebe," Victor encouraged. "It's your decision and it's not one to be made lightly or quickly. I will accept whatever you decide even if it means starting over with him. I just want you to be happy."

Phoebe looked up at her father with some tears in her eyes and whispered as she hugged him, "Thanks, Dad." He kissed the top of her head and she moved back.

Piper reached out for Phoebe but Phoebe stepped out of reach. Hurt, Piper told her sister, "I do love you and only want you to be happy."

"You're our sister," Paige added, "and we want to keep you safe, too. Just remember that when you're thinking. Being a witch comes with its own hazards and you might not want to invite any unnecessary danger."

Piper glared at Paige and told Phoebe, "Just think about the pros and cons of everything."

"Follow your instincts," Leo quietly advised from the background. He stepped forward and reached for his wife's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Follow your heart."

"I gotta go," Phoebe simply said before she turned and walked away.

***** ***** ***** *****


	7. epilogue

****

Epilogue

He lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes. He was exhausted, more from emotional turmoil than physical pain. As a demon, he had been trained to cope with physical pain. But nothing could prepare him for a broken heart. She filled his every waking thought and prevented him from having a restful night. 

He sighed. Sleep had eluded him from the moment she had left his room in a fit of anger four nights ago and he didn't know when it would return.

***** ***** ***** *****

She shifted position slightly and closed her eyes. She was so tired. She'd been badly hurt emotionally from all sides and needed time to recover but knew she'd be unable to sleep. While work distracted her during the day, thoughts of him and of their life together, kept her awake at night. 

She sighed. Sleep had eluded her from the moment she had left his room in a fit of anger four nights ago and she didn't know when it would return.

***** ***** ***** *****

He opened his eyes and glanced around the dark room. He still believed their love was the key to the road back. She had been right about needing to acknowledge the dark sides they each possessed. They would never be able to reach any new understanding if they could not truly accept one another, flaws and all. If they could manage that

Sleep hadn't come but a sense of peace had begun to settle within him. He closed his eyes and smiled.

***** ***** ***** *****

She opened her eyes and softly sighed. As on each previous night, she'd been thinking of him. Of their love. He had been so insistent that their love was enough. She told him it wasn't. She didn't know when their opinions had reversed themselves but she knew that in order to move forward, in any direction, they would each have to accept the light and the dark within each other. If they could manage that

Sleep hadn't come but a sense of peace had begun to settle within her. She closed her eyes and smiled.

***** ***** ***** *****

***** ***** ***** *****

***** ***** ***** *****

The night nurse slowly opened her patient's door to check on him. For four nights he had been a terrible patient, always arguing, definitely stubborn, and clearly miserable. She dismissed the mindless gossip about him that floated around the nurses' station. He was her patient and her only concern for him was for his physical well-being. And if that meant sedating him so he could receive some much needed sleep before he was discharged, well, that's what she was prepared to do.

But, for the first time since she took charge of him, she smiled when she stepped into his room. She stood there a moment and watched him. She'd never before seen such a look of serenity on his face. So, instead of following hospital protocol, she turned around, closed the door behind her, and left the sleeping couple alone in each other's arms.

__

the end 


End file.
